The World Would Be Better Place if Santa Wore Lycra

“Jolly old soul.” Bahhh Humbug. These days, the world could benefit if America’s favorite holiday icon was trim enough to sport some lycra. With childhood obesity considered to be at epidemic levels, do we really need a “jolly old soul” who is overweight and probably very out of shape? Would we think a little differently about fitness throughout the year if we new that Santa was planning to give the reindeer a break and ride a bike for next year’s delivery instead of his sled?

Apparently, Mr. Clause has been getting pressure from all sides recently.  On the health front, especially, it is reported by insiders that Mrs. Clause has been pushing Santa hard.  One elf, that asked to remain anonymous, said:

Clearly he have to consider if shaking like a bowl full if jelly is still the right image to portray to our children.  But it is also a lot more personal than that for the boss.  Even though he is immortal, heart attacks still hurt like hot cocoa in the lap.  And Santa’s cholesterol numbers have been through the roof lately.

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Can we bridge the tweed-lycra divide?

They seem to be almost opposite ends of the spectrum in the cycling world:  The lycra crowd and the tweed crowd.  We also unfortunately know the stereotypes.

Photo Courtesy of Richard Masoner :: http://www.cyclelicio.us/

Photo Courtesy of Richard Masoner :: http://www.cyclelicio.us/

Photo Courtesy of Richard Masoner :: http://www.cyclelicio.us/

The lycra-clad weekend warriors dropping $10,000 on bikes they only ride on sunny Saturday mornings, picking routes that allow them to blindly blow through stop lights and block traffic in an effort clearly targeted specifically to annoy drivers.

The tweed folks riding around on odd bikes with lots of baskets, and children hanging on for dear life in the baskets in a way that every non-cycling American with common sense can immediately recognize as blatant child endangerment.

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